Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
