Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Boobs are out for the taking
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