I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
