you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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