I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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