I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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