Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
