You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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