ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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