The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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