Who wears a wallet chain?!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize