Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
