After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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