I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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