Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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