Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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