is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
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After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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