I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
