let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
