Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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