He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
