just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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