batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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