I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
