thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
