I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
