Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
