You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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