we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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