SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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