brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
