I heard we made out
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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