I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
