we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
