I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
