I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
