if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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