Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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