can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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