What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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