I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
