why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
