The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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