I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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