He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
