i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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