she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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