Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
