giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
