I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
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Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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