Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
