hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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