North Korea, Best Korea!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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