i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
