"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize