so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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