My brain says no but my pants say off.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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