But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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