Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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