on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
