"it" just moved
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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