By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
