I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it's like heaven, but drunker
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
